Back in Bangkok once again, GAG world tour had to adjust to the introduction of a new world pack member: Ollies 'lobes' Paskins. Thus GAG has morphed into what can only now be described as GAGO.
OP was unfortunate to be making his grand entrance in Bangkok, a city which provided all the ingredients necessary for GAG to give OP a real baptism of fire in order to get him up to speed with the sort of behaviour and debauchery that he would quickly need to become accustomed to if he was to survive the following months. Up until now GAG worldtour had been a pleasant mix of relaxed local Asian culture (pagodas, temples, ancient cities) and a sprinkling of hedonism, but there was no point pretending that Southern Thailand would provide us within anything other than wild parties and extensive beach access. Before he knew it OP found himself sinking into the quagmire of the the seedy underbelly of the world's craziest city having a close run in with one of Bangkok's more ambiguously gendered townsfolk and trying some of the delicious local delicacies (skorpion skewers).
Immediately concerned for OP's health, GAGO made a quick escape from BKK and descended upon the first of the beautiful Thai islands: Koh Tao. On route OP experienced his first encounter with Asian transport on Davy Jones' hurt locker: a ferry to Koh Tao in abysmal weather which led to the ferry taking on the look and smell of a floating chunder bucket.
The Gods clearly felt sympathetic and blessed us with glorious weather and beaches for the next few days on the island which GAGO wisely used as a chance to detox and rest ahead of what we knew to be some heavy nights ahead. In essence GAGO was in rehab.
Koh Tao
The beach that GAGO had selected was fairly isolated and was visually stunning. However, upon hearing whispers of even more beautiful beaches on the island, GAGO did what any intelligent westerner should avoid and rented a moped each for 2 days of high speed exploring on Koh Tao's underdeveloped fourth-world road network. Believing this to be too mundane, GAGO attempted to add further danger by deciding to rent kyaks and paddling out to a rocky outcrop several hundred metres off the coast named affectionately by the locals as 'Shark Island' (due to the abundance of sharks in the area) and later took a swim with several space hopper sized jelly fish. GAGO had failed to conduct any research into the danger posed by these creatures, deciding instead that it would be more prudent to simply dismiss the suggestion of any danger at all and just hope for the best... something that we can confirm was successful on this occasion. Encouraged by the lack of injuries, after a couple of light shandies, it was decided as a group to turn the wick up on to 'turbo' by diving through a ring of fire at one of the beach parties. GAG successfully made it through unscathed but the same cannot be said for OP. Failing to gather the necessary speed or height, OP crashed through the fierry circle in an attempt to recreate the Luis Saurez dive. In doing so OP managed to catch his knee on fire which resulted in second degree burns. Our 'relaxing' few days on Koh Tao came to an end far too quickly as GAGO had a strict schedule to adhere to, notably the infamous full moon party on neighbouring Koh Phangnan.
Koh Phangnan
For weeks the talk of backpackers all over Asia had largely concerned either excitement over the next full moon party or outrageous stories of shenanigans at previous ones. Needless to say GAGO was chomping at the bit to get their taste of what is often billed as the best party on the planet. First however was the small occasion of GR's 23rd birthday. GR had demanded to have a birthday celebration which matched the brutality of GA's painful birthday 'party' a couple of weeks before. He was not disappointed as a hard day of bucket boozing commenced early in the morning and only relented after a particularly potent mystery drink which GR, OP and AT had lovingly sourced for him. The following days on the island shared a similar theme, with parties on the beaches and in the jungle going on until well past sunrise.
Koh Samui
GAGO was relieved to leave Koh Phangnan, our bodies may have been broken but out spirits remained as high as ever. It had been suggested that Samui might offer the a sanctuary for a bit of R&R but this naive mindset was soon torpedoed when GAGO had their first encounter with a flock of Swedish girls who somehow (?) had the ability to get GAGO back into bars and back into the familiar 'Phangnan' style routine. Since that fateful first Svenska evening, it became clear that Swedish girls would become GAGO's kryptonite, frequently foiling GAGO's numerous attempts to have a quiet night in.
Phuket and Koh Phi Phi
GAGO traversed the thin neck of Thailand to the western Andaman sea which astonishingly turned out to be even more beautiful than the stunning Gulf of Thailand. GAGO landed on Phuket to relax for a couple of days before heading over to Phi Phi, wisely avoiding the package holiday resort of Patong on Phuket which we knew to be as seedy as BKK. Unfortunately however for GA, having won a decisive game of 'fives' one evening in Phuket Town, an injury on a hostel balcony caused by broken glass and Swedish passion led to a fairly severe injury to his foot which would see him hobbling and hopping on one leg for the next month after he decided seeking immediate medical advice was not the best course of action.
Phi Phi was an experience that GAGO would never forget (actually in some respects this isn't true...). By this point of the trip GAGO had become so familiar with the backpacker staple diet of buckets of alcohol that OP even tried his hand (unsuccessfully) as a bucket salesman. Phi Phi is a tiny island with no roads, the only form of transport is by foot or, as preferred by the locals, by bicycle. However this required pushing the bike through the narrow alleys of Phi Phi by hand rather than actually riding it, an act which caused GAGO much confusion and frustration.
One of the highlights of Phi Phi was the all day long boat trip around the island through the turquoise waters and past white sandy beaches. One of these was named 'monkey beach', and although lacking originality like 'shark island' you certainly can't blame the Thai's for false advertising. Here AT attempted to befriend a fellow prime-ape by leaping around impersonating a deranged bonobo, something which unsurprisingly came naturally to him. This caused the monkeys much antagonism and they made it clear that GAGO, or rather AT himself, was not welcome and so we clambered back on board the boat. Next stop was Maya Bay, the famous location of the film 'The Beach' and later we had an 'exclusive' night time beach BBQ and party. On the way back from this BBQ GAGO had one of the most dangerous experiences of Thailand so far. The Thai driver of the long tail boat and clearly had 2 or 3 more buckets of alcohol than would normally be recommended before piloting a high speed boat. On a number of occasions the boat came extremely close to capsizing and the drunk captain struggled to control the vessel in the miniature waves and non-existent wind off Phi Phi. He then got lost, speeding out to sea into the darkness, apparently blind to the bright lights of the island only half a mile behind us. Back on course and clearly with renewed confidence the driver sped towards land but failed to see 4 large speed boats anchored close to shore. We crashed into one of the boats at high speed and amazingly didn't sink. At his second attempt to reach shore we became stuck on one of the lines used by the speed boats to anchor them to the sea bed. We eventually made it back to shore in one piece, all of us relieved to have done so.
Wednesday, 5 February 2014
Monday, 21 January 2013
Brad Pitt...don't give up the day job!
13-15/1/13
The GAG was separated - GA leaving for the airport and AT and GR heading out for what was billed as a 3 day 'trek' in the jungle including; 2 days with elephants, hiking through the jungle, swimming in waterfalls and staying with the local tribesman overnight.
Enter a man calling himself Brad Pitt, our tour guide, who was to say the least...a rogue trader! Over the 3 days of our trek he spent his time either sleeping, resting, smoking various substances/making the apparatus to smoke those substances or lieing about tour details. It went something like this:
Day 1) Was supposed to involve a 3 hour trek to the elephant sanctuary and our home for the night. The 'trek' was actually an hour walk up and down 1 hill with Brad getting lost almost immediately. He later openly admitted that he had forgotten both the rope and food required for the first day. Despite this, this was probably our best day as this hour walking is about the most we did out of the three days and we got to ride and wash elephants after our hike. Our home for the night was also pretty spectacular as we slept on an outside decking overlooking the elephants house.
Day 2) The promise of a 2 hour hike and a swim in a waterfall turned out to be a 30 min hike and a waterfall barely big enough to wash in...you joker Brad! This was supposed to be our home stay night - although for it to be called a home implies that someone lives there other than the people visiting. It also became apparent on this day that the other guides saw Brad as a massive joke, openly taunting him for getting lost and waking him up from one of his many sleeps by firing a cap gun at him - we wish it was a real gun!
Day 3) A solid hour of rafting although there was no hike as promised (again) and then it was time for home.
Although Brad Pitt was a ridiculous man and a former alcohol and drug abuser (he was still clearly experimenting) he actually in some part made the trip. At no point did we not enjoy ourselves and we met some good guys from England to meet up with in Australia. At the equivalent of £20 for 2 nights and 3 days 'activities' it was also good value...(despite the extra money spent on snickers and crisps due to the lack of actual activities which induced boredom hunger).
In addition, we were initially going to pay £80 for a more secluded and professional trek and although this would have been obviously amazing I'm glad we experienced Brad...it's not every day you meet an actual celebrity!
by GR
13-15/1/13
The GAG was separated - GA leaving for the airport and AT and GR heading out for what was billed as a 3 day 'trek' in the jungle including; 2 days with elephants, hiking through the jungle, swimming in waterfalls and staying with the local tribesman overnight.
Enter a man calling himself Brad Pitt, our tour guide, who was to say the least...a rogue trader! Over the 3 days of our trek he spent his time either sleeping, resting, smoking various substances/making the apparatus to smoke those substances or lieing about tour details. It went something like this:
Day 1) Was supposed to involve a 3 hour trek to the elephant sanctuary and our home for the night. The 'trek' was actually an hour walk up and down 1 hill with Brad getting lost almost immediately. He later openly admitted that he had forgotten both the rope and food required for the first day. Despite this, this was probably our best day as this hour walking is about the most we did out of the three days and we got to ride and wash elephants after our hike. Our home for the night was also pretty spectacular as we slept on an outside decking overlooking the elephants house.
Day 2) The promise of a 2 hour hike and a swim in a waterfall turned out to be a 30 min hike and a waterfall barely big enough to wash in...you joker Brad! This was supposed to be our home stay night - although for it to be called a home implies that someone lives there other than the people visiting. It also became apparent on this day that the other guides saw Brad as a massive joke, openly taunting him for getting lost and waking him up from one of his many sleeps by firing a cap gun at him - we wish it was a real gun!
Day 3) A solid hour of rafting although there was no hike as promised (again) and then it was time for home.
Although Brad Pitt was a ridiculous man and a former alcohol and drug abuser (he was still clearly experimenting) he actually in some part made the trip. At no point did we not enjoy ourselves and we met some good guys from England to meet up with in Australia. At the equivalent of £20 for 2 nights and 3 days 'activities' it was also good value...(despite the extra money spent on snickers and crisps due to the lack of actual activities which induced boredom hunger).
In addition, we were initially going to pay £80 for a more secluded and professional trek and although this would have been obviously amazing I'm glad we experienced Brad...it's not every day you meet an actual celebrity!
by GR
Friday, 18 January 2013
Hue We Go!
4/1/13
Our last day in Hoi An and time to (carefully) pack our suits and get ready for the next bus journey/hurt locker to our final destination in Vietnam, Hue! Ofcourse no bus journey would be complete without a little drama and whilst the bus to Hue turned out to be a comfortable and relatively painless experience the 'mislaid' ticket by GR made the booking slightly tricky. A big thank you goes out to our hostel reception team who solved our bus issues and also baked a cake for GA for his birthday...delicious!
Goodbye Vietnam!
5-7th/1/13
Our last stop in Vietnam was the slightly damp Hue. Unfortunately our visit to this city was a slightly 'luke warm' affair, with our increasingly relaxed attitude towards forward planning leading to a missed opportunity to see the DMZ (de-militarised zone) in the surrounding countryside. The inclement weather conditions also meant that for only the 2nd time we had to don our child fit ponchos in order to explore the city. We also had our first real taste of the slightly unwelcoming side of Vietnam in the form of a refusal to sell or even talk to us by some of the local market merchants - maybe we should have worn the suits!
Destination Unprepared
7/1/13
It was time...the bus to Laos was calling - 23 hours, 100 bags of lemons, 45 people (capacity 30), 1 border crossing (and no money to pay for it), no toilet and no headroom. A lot has been made about buses on this blog and whilst this wasn't the most painful bus experience it was the longest and strangest. 100 bags of lemons lined the walkways and the people that would normally sleep on the floor had to sleep on the lemons instead - 'When God Gives You Lemons, You Sleep On Them'. The baggage storage and the row of seats at the back were also full of lemons meaning that our bags had to be strapped to the roof, along with more lemons. The border crossing is relatively straightforward if you do just 5 minutes of research, unfortunately GAG had been far too busy to spare such a ludicrous amount of time and so we had a rather hectic 45 minutes trying to get money out and get everything sorted. I would like to say lesson learned but we will see...
Laos/Lao/Lao's
8-11/1/13
Laos or any of the above spellings, according to who wrote which road sign, was a a fairly relaxed affair. The capital city of Vientiane played host to our visit and involved; a stay in our first dorm room, a visa aquisition by GR and AT, some quality pool time and a trip to Laos' 1st western style gym. The latter of which weighed in at 65000kip, roughly 5 pounds sterling, and included a 1 hour massage, gym usage and pool, sauna and steam room access.
Considering that Laos is one of the poorest countries in the world the huge number of cars as apposed to the usual motorbike scene and the general cost of eating out was quite surprising. However, learning that around 90% of the population live in the country along with the wild tigers it's easy to see that there's a fairly uneven distribution of wealth - that 10% of city dwellers holding the keys to the bank.
The Return To The Kingdom
12/1/13
Back to Thailand and our first stop Chang Mai. This was to be the place where the GAG would be separated, GA embarking on a 4 day round trip to Heathrow for a job interview (it's not the team leader role at St. Albans Tesco Metro) and GR and AT taking a 3 day trek into the jungle to ride some elephants and lose ourselves in nature. First though, it was time to pet some tigers and watch some Muay Thai. GAG took the 'red car' to the Tiger sanctuary and chose the Tiger's we wanted to see - the biguns weighing in at 150kg at only 21 months old, incidentally 3 months away from no longer being allowed to be with humans due to increasing testosterone levels rendering them 'unfriendly'. An initially tense affair we can safely report that no humans were hurt in the making of the following photos despite some racing pulses and the occassional look of distain from the cats.
After Tiger watch it was time for some Muay Thai. The crowd was ready, the lady boys were everywhere and the fighters were primed. 2 hours and 8 fights later we were thoroughly satisfied by a solid evening of brutality, with particular enjoyment coming from a blindfolded multi-man crowd pleasure. Into the ring stepped 2 blindfolded fighters and a Muay Thai dwarf without blindfold...the funniest 5 minutes of our lives followed and the fighters earned their 60pence tip.
by GR
4/1/13
Our last day in Hoi An and time to (carefully) pack our suits and get ready for the next bus journey/hurt locker to our final destination in Vietnam, Hue! Ofcourse no bus journey would be complete without a little drama and whilst the bus to Hue turned out to be a comfortable and relatively painless experience the 'mislaid' ticket by GR made the booking slightly tricky. A big thank you goes out to our hostel reception team who solved our bus issues and also baked a cake for GA for his birthday...delicious!
Goodbye Vietnam!
5-7th/1/13
Our last stop in Vietnam was the slightly damp Hue. Unfortunately our visit to this city was a slightly 'luke warm' affair, with our increasingly relaxed attitude towards forward planning leading to a missed opportunity to see the DMZ (de-militarised zone) in the surrounding countryside. The inclement weather conditions also meant that for only the 2nd time we had to don our child fit ponchos in order to explore the city. We also had our first real taste of the slightly unwelcoming side of Vietnam in the form of a refusal to sell or even talk to us by some of the local market merchants - maybe we should have worn the suits!
Destination Unprepared
7/1/13
It was time...the bus to Laos was calling - 23 hours, 100 bags of lemons, 45 people (capacity 30), 1 border crossing (and no money to pay for it), no toilet and no headroom. A lot has been made about buses on this blog and whilst this wasn't the most painful bus experience it was the longest and strangest. 100 bags of lemons lined the walkways and the people that would normally sleep on the floor had to sleep on the lemons instead - 'When God Gives You Lemons, You Sleep On Them'. The baggage storage and the row of seats at the back were also full of lemons meaning that our bags had to be strapped to the roof, along with more lemons. The border crossing is relatively straightforward if you do just 5 minutes of research, unfortunately GAG had been far too busy to spare such a ludicrous amount of time and so we had a rather hectic 45 minutes trying to get money out and get everything sorted. I would like to say lesson learned but we will see...
Laos/Lao/Lao's
8-11/1/13
Laos or any of the above spellings, according to who wrote which road sign, was a a fairly relaxed affair. The capital city of Vientiane played host to our visit and involved; a stay in our first dorm room, a visa aquisition by GR and AT, some quality pool time and a trip to Laos' 1st western style gym. The latter of which weighed in at 65000kip, roughly 5 pounds sterling, and included a 1 hour massage, gym usage and pool, sauna and steam room access.
Considering that Laos is one of the poorest countries in the world the huge number of cars as apposed to the usual motorbike scene and the general cost of eating out was quite surprising. However, learning that around 90% of the population live in the country along with the wild tigers it's easy to see that there's a fairly uneven distribution of wealth - that 10% of city dwellers holding the keys to the bank.
The Return To The Kingdom
12/1/13
Back to Thailand and our first stop Chang Mai. This was to be the place where the GAG would be separated, GA embarking on a 4 day round trip to Heathrow for a job interview (it's not the team leader role at St. Albans Tesco Metro) and GR and AT taking a 3 day trek into the jungle to ride some elephants and lose ourselves in nature. First though, it was time to pet some tigers and watch some Muay Thai. GAG took the 'red car' to the Tiger sanctuary and chose the Tiger's we wanted to see - the biguns weighing in at 150kg at only 21 months old, incidentally 3 months away from no longer being allowed to be with humans due to increasing testosterone levels rendering them 'unfriendly'. An initially tense affair we can safely report that no humans were hurt in the making of the following photos despite some racing pulses and the occassional look of distain from the cats.
After Tiger watch it was time for some Muay Thai. The crowd was ready, the lady boys were everywhere and the fighters were primed. 2 hours and 8 fights later we were thoroughly satisfied by a solid evening of brutality, with particular enjoyment coming from a blindfolded multi-man crowd pleasure. Into the ring stepped 2 blindfolded fighters and a Muay Thai dwarf without blindfold...the funniest 5 minutes of our lives followed and the fighters earned their 60pence tip.
by GR
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Happy New Year!
1/1/13
GAG along with half the Western world was bleary eyed today. NYE was spent in the infamous "Why Not?" bar drinking concoctions out of small buckets and listening to SE Asia's awful rendition of Auld Lang Syne.
You may be seeing a theme emerging with a number of our posts on transport, but this was by far our worst journey yet. New Year's Day 2013 will truly be etched in our minds as the bus journey from hell. At first sight the bus on which we were making the 11 hour overnight journey to Hoi An looked positive. The bus had fully reclinable seat/beds and were split up by aisles either side.
Unfortunately we were placed at the back of the bus where there were 5 considerably smaller beds side by side. It was also not possible to sit up because there was another row of beds directly above. When lying down the clearance between face and the row above was an uncomfortable 10 inches. A few hours later GAG and the 2 Germans sharing the back row hell managed to get to sleep. This sleep lasted less than 30 minutes as we were abruptly awakened when the driver plowed into a pot holed road at high speed causing GAG to face plant into the seats above. Unfortunately we weren't knocked out from the event, so we had to endure the rest of the journey awake.
2/1/13
Suited and Booted (Flip Flopped)
We arrived early doors in Hoi An and booked ourselves into a guest house. First on the agenda was to visit a tailor, which Hoi An is renowned for. GAG had some ideas in mind and were recommended by the guest house owner to go to her "sisters" shops a couple of doors down (I use the word sister loosely as everyone in Vietnam seems related if its mutually beneficial somehow).
Nevertheless, we took the advice and went to the recommended tailors and gave them our ideas and they took our specifications including what seemed like an overly thorough inside leg measurement. We were told to return the next day, so we bottled up our excitement and left the ladies to do there best workmanship. The rest of the day was spent meandering though the beautiful streets of Hoi An.
3/1/13
Birthday Suit
Today was the day that we picked up our suits and also coincided with Greg A's birthday. The night before Greg R and Andy had scoured the streets of Hoi An looking for items to make Greg A's birthday one that he would simultaneously remember forever and also forget large chunks of. The first item was a delicious local spirit which was a bottle of rum containing a scorpion and a cobra pickled inside. Greg A grudgingly drank the spirit at breakfast and throughout the rest of the day as forfeits for the games Greg R and Andy had organised.
11 am came around and we made our way to the tailors to pick up our suits so we could wear them during the day. We weren't disappointed Words don't do these suits justice, but to summarise Andy has a suit with 4 distinct quarters of red and white floral patterns and Greg A and Greg R has some outrageous floral silk jackets and green silk trousers (see photos).
The suits were well received by travelers and locals alike and not 30 seconds went by without a small Asian lady saying "handsome man!" to us or someone asking for a photo. The adoration for our suits culminated later in the evening when we were walking into one of the bars and spontaneous applause started, people were shaking our hands and taking our photos. The suits acted as the perfect conversation starter and GAG had a fun filled night drinking with some Australians.
by AT
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